Blog: How a Breakup Can Help You Discover Yourself

Each week on "Gutsy Living" we share an amazing story that will inspire or motivate you. Would you like to become a part of our community? (If so, see below.)

This week we are featuring "My Gutsy Story" by Stacia Duvall.

Twenty Push-Ups

There is a modern-day fairytale that begins like this:

Once upon a time in the midst of raising children, a lovely lady who had grown a bit complacent was surprised one day when her mate of many years said I don't love you anymore.  When the last child went off to college, he was with someone who made him feel younger and she was alone.

It was the first time she had lived alone.  She ate cereal for dinner on occasion. She let the house get messy.  She played her kind of music loudly.  She slept in the middle of her king-sized bed.  She chose when and where and why and how without consulting anyone.

In the quiet of that empty nest she remembered being 22.  She could not recall exactly why she thought he was the one.  She could recollect that when college ended and careers began, marriage seemed like the next logical step.  She remembered being caught up in a gale of love that had swept in on the wind of fear.  Everyone was being selected, one by one.  Would she be the person nobody picked?

And suddenly, years later, it had happened.  She was not picked and now she was alone.

This was not what she expected when she was young and raising her family and being supportive and living on the assumption that the future would be spent with the person to whom she had vowed her forever.

After time spent wallowing, she decided one day to call upon her remaining strength.  She decided that from now on, she needed to do a couple of push-ups and try something new each day.  Before long, she could do twenty push-ups and she had traveled by herself to a place a thousand miles away.

She found herself doing things she had never done before, like asking for help and making people worry and undoing another button on her blouse.  She felt amazingly strong.

After some time, she started liking the idea of spending the rest of her life with a person she had recently come to know.

Herself.

One day after she realized that how she felt about herself could be called love, a handsome man rode in and tried to "woo" her. He tried and tried but she doubted there was space in herself to love another now that she so loved herself. She was afraid she might go back to where she had been when she was left by her husband.

But the handsome man was patient. He treated her with kindness and consideration unlike anything she had known before, which caused her to consider him differently. She could see in him quality and value. And she noticed that she smiled more and that her eyes seemed brighter when they were together.

One day as they danced, she told him she loved him. The words popped from her mouth before she had time to think of their meaning. And she knew for a fact there was space in herself to love another.

And the amazingly strong woman could see that whatever way the wind blew and whatever moment of the far-off future she was in, she would not be afraid.  For she loved herself.

So she vowed that from that day forward she would be true and loving and faithful.

To herself.

And she felt happy, content, and at peace with that prospect.

Stacia Duvall's Bio

Stacia Duvall's Gutsy story is not a story of extreme bravery or challenge but is instead the story of how an ordinary woman chose to become amazing and strong, albeit in her own way.  She blogs at http://winsomebella.wordpress.com where she shares photographs of extraordinary views and writes about moments that give her pause, the joy of place, the growth of change and the beauty of the commonplace.  When not writing or taking pictures, she is a granny who nannies, a yoga devotee, a far-flung traveler and always at the ready for a bike ride in the Rockies. 

Sonia Marsh Says:

After reading Stacia Duvall's, "My Gutsy Story," I realize her talents go far beyond her photography and her ability to connect with her reader.

Stacia, your story about the breaking up of a marriage, the process of finding out who you are, and falling in love with "you" before you can love someone else is so inspiring. So many of us struggle with finding out who we are, and then falling in love with that person.

Stacia has a skill of sharing a story of simple joy through her words and her photography on her blog.

Sonia Marsh Bio

Sonia Marsh is a blogger, mom, world traveler and unconventional thinker with a passion for tropical islands. She is the founder of the "My Gutsy Story" series, and author of the forthcoming travel memoir, "Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on a Tropical Island.”

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Sonia Marsh